Friday, October 25, 2013

Friday Funnies: Felis Catus

The morning started with cat barf.

As in, the cat BARFED all over the laptop. Granted, I could be saying PHEW NOT MY LAPTOP because it wasn't -- it belongs to Pretty Princess -- but still. Cat barf. Gross.

Speaking of Pretty Princess, we have to start calling her the J-School Rookie. As in, she got into journalism school. At a real university. For January. Let's all say CONGRATULATIONS, Pretty Princess J-School Rookie. From now until classes start, she will be my intern. It's gonna be awesome. I'm going to make her pick up dry cleaning (do yoga pants need dry cleaning?) and clean the coffee pot and reorganize my sock drawer and alphabetize the bookshelves and THEN we will make her write an investigative article on the reasons why cats barf. If you have any ideas for mean educational things we can have the Rookie undertake, do let me know. Interns ROCK.

Speaking of cats, NOT SURE if I mentioned this last week but Nuit had her girlie parts removed on Friday. 

She was not jumping for joy about having to go to the vet.
Last Friday night, we were freaked out because her postsurgical recovery wasn't great. She was hiding under the bed, she wouldn't eat, she cried if we touched her. But I am SO HAPPY to report that Naughty Nuit is doing way, way better, back to terrorizing everyone/everything, trying to pull the wrappers off the toffee candies sitting on the table (yes, we're like old people now -- we have a bowl of wrapped candies sitting on the kitchen table SOMEONE HAND ME MY GERITOL AND READING GLASSES ) and she is NOT the cat who barfed on the computer, in case you were wondering. That was her big dumb Maine Coon brother who recently lost a tooth in a fight with a raccoon. Man, that was a lot of blood. Poor raccoon.

BUT, this unfortunate event this morning involving vomitus leads us to this week's Very Awesome Theme: CATS. Hey, Ellen Degeneres is allegedly doing a whole Cat Week, so let's steal some thunder and have our own Friday Funnies Devoted to Felines.

FIRST, however, Convos With My 2-Year-Old -- they did something different in the spirit of the upcoming Halloweenie, and I dare say, old chap, it's a mighty good belly-buster:


THIS WAS ME THE OTHER DAY. In the potty. I found the LEG, but no spider. WHERE IS THE SPIDER?
Writers? This:


From Ellen's CAT WEEK, Days 2 and 3:

Obviously, I have a problem. I like cats. If I didn't have children, I would be a crazy cat lady.  But in my defense ...

I seriously laughed my ass off when I saw this next one. Did you guys HEAR about Darwin the IKEA monkey? Sorta sad, actually:

I know. I can't stop giggling, either.

HAVE AN AWESOME WEEK, people. OH, and sign up for Eliza Gordon's newsletter for more wacky hijinks. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter and Goodreads. And you can PREORDER her book now on Amazon and on the iBookstore, OR wait until Tuesday. Buy her funny book so she will be busy and stop nagging me about cookie recipes. SERIOUSLY. I HATE BAKING.

By the way -- IT'S GAME DAY.


Xs and Os ...

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