(Repost from Facebook. Apologies for duplicating, but I don't have good funny very often.)
We were supposed to have sun this morning. After, like, 22 consecutive days of rain with one break:
This morning, I was standing in my yard with my bathing suit on, my beach umbrella, a drink with yet another tinier umbrella in it, some sunblock, some '80s tunes on my boom box, just waiting for the cabana boy to show up and shower me with attention. But because the sun hasn't appeared yet, I'm soaked to the bone and risking hypothermia, my umbrella fell over under the weight of the mist in the air, my drink is watered down, the sunblock washed off, my boom box shorted out, and I think the cabana boy must've overslept due to the dark skies and missed his bus 'cuz the only thing I've been showered in so far this morning is shame. All of the soccer moms driving by in their minivans are staring and pointing and laughing at me. Damn you, rain!!!
Thank you. Thank you very much.