No mercy for the wretched Evil who slither among us

I'm seething.

I heard on news radio last night that a substitute teacher in our district was arrested and charged with nine sex crimes against 7- and 8-year-old girls. THIRD graders. I have a third grader. On their Web site, the radio station was kind enough to publish a complete list of the schools where the "alleged offender" taught--and included is all three schools in my immediate area, all of which I either have a child at or have had a child attend in the past. Right away this morning, I asked my third and tenth graders if they recognized this guy, hereafter referred to as Evil; thankfully, they said no. 

But there are three sets of parents in my local community whose children would have to say that yes, they recognized that chubby, child-molesting face. I don't know how these parents live day to day, knowing that someone hurt their child in that way. In any way. I don't know how people go on after something like this, how they don't go out and arm themselves and wait outside the courtroom for Evil to show up for his court date.

On Planet Jenn, if you touch a kid inappropriately, you will be executed. There will, of course, be days of torture where my minions will remove parts of your body (the parts you're most obsessed with, naturally) while you are conscious, the number of body parts equivalent to the number of egregious acts committed against innocents. You molest five kids, you lose five body parts. Or smaller, more painful pieces of those body parts.

To err is human. To forgive is divine. Perhaps. But on Planet Jenn, there is no forgiveness for doing something heinous to a kid. Ever. Save me your soap box diatribes on offender rights, innocent until proven guilty. STOP. 

There is no forgiveness for crimes against children. None. I hope this guy rots in hell. I hope that the local magistrate (notoriously soft on criminals--must protect the offender, re-victimize the innocent!) throws the book at him. But before he does, in that book I'm going to embed razor blades laced with the neurotoxin of the world's most venomous arachnid, so that when the book nails Evil in the face, Evil is cut to shreds and then suffers the fallout from the poison seeping into his pores.

Because from the day of commission forward, those poor little girls will feel his poison every time they breathe in.