Sunday, June 24, 2012

Cupcakes and Commanauts. And a PRESENT for ME!

Something is afoot. Though I know not what. My page views have been putt-putt-putting along and then today? Out of the park! What did I do to make people stop by? Did I fart in public and someone posted it on YouTube? Not possible ... I rarely go out in public. The light -- it burns us! Nor do I fart. (Okay, sometimes I fart. But I never take the fall.) So ... not sure what's happening, but THANK YOU for stopping by. Now I should say something entertaining.

This is not original. Stolen from Facebook. But it's damn funny. And if you're a writer, there is no greater release than killing someone or something, as long as you hug your cat or eat an Oreo after you're done. It's what you do after the fact that maintains the distinction between fantasy and fiction. (At least that's what my therapist said.)


So ... busy week. Oldest daughter graduated from high school last weekend; the two Young Lads had a packed calendar that included a teddy bear picnic, a year-end-5th-graders-are-bouncing-this-baby-school leaving party (for which I totally made cupcakes AND frosted the little bastards -- Mother of the Year over here -- if you knew how rarely I cook anything, you'd understand what a selfless feat this was), and a bout of a stomach bug on Friday night. We decided that our long week of heavy lifting should be duly rewarded with a dessert of film, so at a rather late hour, we ordered up Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows -- which was a fun romp except for the fact that Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong) was not in it and that made me So Sad -- when the vomit Olympics commenced. Forever more, Holmes will have "bleeeeeeeeeeahhhhh *splash* Mommmmmmy!" as part of its soundtrack, embedded in my mind for all eternity. (That, by the way, is the sound of someone vomiting, the subsequent splash into the toilet, and the tearful cry for me. Being the mom is AWESOME.)

Mmmmm, cupcakes. 
AND -- speaking of awesome, undying gratitude for Most Deliriously Fantastic Present of the Week goes to Heidi at The Readiacs. THIS is what she sent me:

JOHN GREEN SIGNED THIS BOOK. *swoons*
He's my hero. Dude can make words, I'm telling you ...
The REASON this is so cool -- Heidi is a blogger who is always doing something cool and related to either books or movies. She went to Book Expo America '12 and saw that Green was signing, so she waited in line and scored THIS PRIZE for me. Not only is she endlessly thoughtful and shiny, but she has great taste in friends. *wink* (Last week her exploits took her to LA to watch edits of Breaking Dawn Pt. 2. As they were happening. She stayed in Hollywood and dined with vampires. I'm telling you -- she gets to do the funnest most fun stuff!)


So this signed book -- it goes without saying that I am a HUGE John Green fan. If you haven't read his work, time's a'wastin'. He's a masterful fellow, a genius with dialogue, super smart (so much so that some folks call him pretentious, but I say, if you have a brain that big and wrinkly, use it!), and he writes characters with an unrivaled depth. THIS book, The Fault In Our Stars, will likely make you cry, so beware. It's brilliant. Rumor has it, it's in development for a film (gossip here) as Fox 2000 snatched up the rights months ago, although I wasn't able to find anything on IMDB Pro. Who knows what's happening with it. It should at least have an in-development listing, but these Hollywood types ... SO fickle. REGARDLESS, get thee to a bookery. You can thank me later.

In addition to working like the good little bee I am -- two manuscripts finished, two more on the table -- I did this:


Actually, I decided to try out the freebie Wix.com software to see if I could put together a proper Website for my editing stuff (mostly because I'm cheap and super tired of paying for shit that doesn't live up to its promises. iWeb? Lookin' at you, dude ...). Pretty easy to use, especially if you're not familiar with coding and all that nerd speak that developers throw around. (I swear they do it to make me feel like a jackass.) Then I asked my Facebook lovelies for help with a title, and my girl Adrienne Crezo, a fantabulous writer of All Things Brilliant (she writes for friggin' Mental Floss, yo!), gave me the title. It was way catchier than my lame attempts at clever irreverence. Once the name was settled upon, I employed Husband the Artiste to draw me a "commanaut" with his spaceship, and then Photoshop and I had a pissing match for a few hours until I got what I wanted. I think it's cute. Whatever. It'll get the job done. And it was way more fun than pacing the floor or rearranging the sock drawers, two pastimes pursued when I inevitably get stuck on yet another unfinished scene and I fall, head first, onto the keyboard and dream of unicorns and Mark Strong. Often, Mark Strong on the unicorn. Not a bad way to pass the time. He's pretty. *pets the Mark Strong*

Oh, and I finished this:


Good book. Jordan is a talented scribe. Heady stuff, though -- this isn't light, feel-good reading. It addresses a lot of deep-seated issues about identity and a person's place within society, the danger of extreme fundamentalism within an otherwise civilized society, and posits a very clever way to deal with criminals, one I think the government should look into. LOL ... Overall, fascinating concept, terrifying reality. Nathaniel Hawthorne would be proud of Jordan's homage to his work.


THIS WEEK, I also received an awesome "fan" message from a talented Oahu artist named Jamie Lynne Swim -- she totally said so much nice stuff. About me. I KNOW, right? Poor deluded child. Anyway, seeing that she has such terrific taste in books and writers, you guys should totally go check out her art: www.jamieswimart.com. And then go like her on Facebook. Art is GOOD! And I love her stuff!

Beyond that: no news that I can share yet. Will be heading into the revision cave in about four weeks. In the meantime, I'm ever on the lookout for things we can make fun of. OH, and starting daring new projects that likely will never be finished. I'm nothing if not consistent with my inconsistency.

The children are out of school in three-point-five days. You GUYS -- SEND HELP.

Xs and Os ...

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